IS A BETTER RELATIONSHIP WAITING ON YOU?

Yesterday I completed a seven-week teaching series on the theme of UNITY. This means for the past two months I’ve been studying every scripture I can find on the subject and doing a lot of other reading and research. What I am saying is, “I’m getting sick of all this talk about unity.” Nah, I’m just joking. 

The Bible can make a strong case for why and how we need to seek unity in all areas of our lives. No surprise there! If anyone enjoys disunity and all of the side effects that go with it, they’ve got serious issues. Yet here’s what I am thinking about this morning as I reflect over these seven teachings: Even though unity (and the peace, harmony and gladness which go with it) is better by far, it doesn’t mean everyone is convinced to the point they’ll do what they need to do to pursue it. Hebrews 12:14 says, “Make every effort to live in peace with all men and to be holy; without holiness no one will see the Lord.” (NIV) Unity can and often does require effort. It’s often easier to see what others need to do to restore peace in a relationship, and yet completely miss what we need to do. 

With the exception of spiritually unhealthy people, everyone wants their relationships to be strong and filled with lots of love, acceptance and forgiveness. To move towards stronger relationships, we have to know what we need to do to build strength and we have to be willing to do it. I actually think this is where unity gets sidetracked. We know a relationship needs to be repaired and restored, and we may even know some things we can do to begin moving in a healthier direction, but we’re not willing. We may be waiting on the other person to make the first move. We may be waiting on the perfect opportunity to have an intense conversation. I can’t recall who said it, but I once heard that in the case of a broken relationship the person who thinks they’re the most spiritual should make the first move towards restoration. Because we’re often not willing, our marriage, friendships, relationships with family members, work/school associates, in our church family and other key relationships in our lives continue to be dominated by spiritual sickness or suckiness, as my one friend used to say.

In yesterday’s teaching I touched on the issue of SUBMISSION. I like how my wife (Anita) defines submission: “Giving up the right to be right.” Do you think she was trying to tell me something? Moving right along! Ephesians 5:21 says, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” Here are three ideas for you to consider regarding submission towards one another:

Submission is what we do when we reverence Christ more than we want to be right.

Submission is what we do when peace is more important to us than making the point [argument] which wins the dispute.

Submission is what we do when peace is more important than having power or control in a relationship. 

If we’re going to make the move to repair and restore a relationship, it’s going to require us to give up the right to be right, to give up the desire to score the winning point in an argument and bury our “opponent” and to give up the need to control the other person. 

The first step towards restoring a relationship is always the hardest, but the reward of a stronger and healthier marriage or friendship or church, makes it worth it. 

Note: The audio file of yesterday’s teaching, as well all the other messages in the UNITED series can be found at the “Media” tab on kingmountain.org