WHEN GRACE IS INSULTED

GRACE is a common word used among followers of Christ. Pastor/teachers infuse their weekend talks with the word, grace. The lyrics of songs often include references to grace. If someone trips and falls we say to them, “Way to go, grace!” Before our meals we say “grace.” With all of this grace talk, you’d think we have a good grasp on what it is and what it does in our daily lives, but do we really?

The Greek word for, GRACE, is Charis (khar’ece). This is a rich word which is used to describe God’s involvement in our lives. The definition of grace in the Strong’s Concordance yields this description: “good will, loving-kindness, favour; of the merciful kindness by which God, exerting his holy influence upon souls, turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them in Christian faith, knowledge, affection, and kindles them to the exercise of the Christian virtues.”

It seems like I often hear grace being used in the context of not holding something against someone; as in, giving them a break or a free pass. In golf, my favorite hobby, we call this a mulligan. If you hit a poor shot, you simply say: “I’m going take a mulligan.” This means you can act like the previous shot didn’t even happen. Mulligans are okay among friends, but in an official golf competition they aren’t allowed. You have to play your ball as it lies. I generally don’t take mulligans if I am keeping score and not just practicing, because they don’t help me to improve as a golfer. Sometimes I need the pain and consequences of a poor shot to motivate me to improve. 

I want to come back to Strong’s definition of grace because there was something about it which caught my attention. The definition describes what grace is, but also provides the purpose of grace in our lives. Repeating from the midway point in the above definition: “(Grace)…turns them to Christ, keeps, strengthens, increases them…kindles them.” I think that’s a significant statement of the purpose of grace. Grace isn’t the activity of a permissive [soft] God, who chooses to ignore when we mess up. Grace isn’t God giving us a mulligan or a do-over, just so we can make the same mistakes over and over again. To limit grace to permissiveness is to totally misunderstand its purpose in our lives. God extends his grace to us (“grace upon grace”, John 1:16), to give us the strength to grow forward in him. By “grow forward” I am thinking of our daily development as disciples [followers] of Jesus. 

In 1 Corinthians 15:10 Paul uses the word, GRACE, three times: (NIV” “But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace to me was not without effect. No, I worked harder than all of them--yet not I, but the grace of God that was with me.” By making statement, “his grace to me was not without effect”, Paul seems to be suggesting that it’s possible for people to experience the grace of God, but to remain unchanged by it. I think that’s exactly what happens when people look at grace as an excuse to “go on sinning”, a serious spiritual condition referred to in Hebrews 10:26. Notice how Paul connected the “grace of God” with the fact that he “worked harder” than others. This almost goes contrary to how we often think of grace, in that, there’s a perception grace means we don’t have to work hard. That attitude is an “(insult) to the Spirit of grace,” according to Hebrews 10:29.  Grace is insulted when we don’t draw upon God’s “merciful kindness” (quoting Strong’s definition) to help us grow in Christ, and instead, treat mercy like a mulligan. 

More on GRACE in my next blog…

GOD IS LISTENING TO OUR WORDS

I often begin my day at a local café; yes, with a cup of brew coffee. Someone asked me one time how much coffee I drink and I told them a cup in the morning. Then they asked me how of large of cup I use. I responded, “Umm, usually, a 20-ounce one.” To which they kindly commented how that’s equal to nearly three cups of coffee. I’m thinking they need to mind their own business. 

Throughout the day, our local cafes (and there are many) have a continual stream of people who use them as a place to meet with friends or business associates. I have a concept for a new reality TV show, like we need one more, where the idea is to eavesdrop on all the conversations in the café. You can hear some pretty amazing things if you want to, and sometimes you don’t even have to try because people are talking so loudly. I was sitting in Starbucks one early Sunday morning (Bakerview for the locals), reading over my message notes and preparing for our worship gathering. A group of five or six women came in and sat on the large leather loveseats near where I was seated. I quickly learned they were headed to Vegas. So here I am trying to focus on teaching God’s Word and these ladies, err, females, begin discussing their various plastic surgeries. Can you say, “Awkward!” Clearly they weren’t embarrassed, but I was, sitting only few feet away. After a several minutes of this auditory assault, I decided I’d heard enough and headed to the office earlier than normal. 

Jesus said something which is conveniently ignored by many and dismissed as impossible to obey by most. It has to do with our conversations, our words. “I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.” (Matthew 12:36 NIV) It’s my observation, whether the conversation is in a café or over the fence talking to a neighbor, people are far too careless with their words. Given the new and improved technologies for communication, there are more words being spoken (texted, tweeted, blogged, etc.) than ever before. Of course, this means there are more ways for us to fall into bad habits in our communication.

I think it’d be a good idea if the following words, from William Penn, could be hung in every café in the county: “Never believe anything bad about anybody unless you positively know it to be true; never tell even that unless you feel that it is absolutely necessary—and that God is listening while you tell it.” Better than hanging the words on a wall, would be for us to write God’s Word on our hearts so we take it with us wherever we go (Proverbs 7:1-3). Penn’s reminder “God is listening” to every word of our conversations should be a warning to watch what we say. James 5:9 (NAS) says: “…the Judge is standing right at the door.”

 The different sins of the tongue mentioned in the Bible is long: LYING, SLANDER, FAULTFINDING, GOSSIP, BACKBITING, BEARING FALSE WITNESS, FLATTERY, CURSING, COARSE JESTING [JOKING], EXAGGERATION, etc. James writes the (3:8 NIV) tongue “is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” As every parent teaches their child: “If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say anything at all.” I’d say that’s smart advice for both children and parents!

WHEN EVIL BECOMES PERSONAL

In my previous blog (June 20~TRUTH WINS OVER EVIL) we started exploring the issue of conflict between persons. As we all know, interpersonal conflict can become extremely ugly. It often brings out the worst in people. Vile, hurtful words are spoken. Destructive, harmful actions are carried out. Many times these things happen between individuals who previously enjoyed a relationship, which at the very least was cordial, if not close. In today’s post I want to probe WHEN EVIL GETS PERSONAL.

The cause of conflict is not a secret. James 4:1-3 provides a clear word on the cause: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don't they come from your desires that battle within you? 2 You want something but don't get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God. 3 When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures.” (NIV)

There’s nothing really surprising about James’ diagnosis of the cause. All of us have experienced the panic-driven emotions of feeling like what we want, which we probably feel we deserve or is our right, is being ripped away from us. If we don’t fight for what we want, we are not going to get what we think, or feel we so desperately need. So we take action to protect and defend our turf. This scenario plays out with frightening frequency in homes, workplaces, neighborhoods, churches, and pretty much any place where people meeting with one another.

When you encounter someone who is ready to fight, because you’ve encroached upon something they “desire”, what do you do? First, it’s important to understand what’s driving the person. James uses the word, desire (NIV), which in the New American Standard is, LUST. The Greek word for lust is Epithumeo (ep-ee-thoo-meh’-o) and it means “to lust after, covet; of those who seek things forbidden.” So, James is referring to someone who is being driven by what they want and what they crave.  If you, because of your role [position] come between someone and what they desire/lust, there’s a good chance there will be conflict. If you’re a leader (as a parent in your home; as a boss/manager in your workplace; as a pastor in your church; a ministry team leader; small group leader; student body officer; captain of a sports team; etc.), I can guarantee that you will find yourself in the unenviable position of standing between someone and what they desire or lust after. There’s a good chance this person doesn’t view their desire/lust as wrong. They’ve convinced themselves they are right, and if it’s someone who claims to follow Christ, they will even rationalize they’re not only right, but their cause is righteous. As a leader this places you in an extremely difficult position, I know because I’ve been there many times. Here are some of the things which help me when this happens:

One, make a deliberate choice to not take what is being said and done personally. This is hard to do but absolutely necessary to maintain focus on the responsibilities of your role as a leader. One of the things which makes this so difficult is the other person will try to make it personal, and may even get very personal in their comments towards you. As Paul mentored the young pastor, Timothy, he told him: “Keep your head in all situations.” (2 Timothy 4:5 NIV) If you do make the mistake of allowing things to become personal, you are in effect ceasing to function in your leadership role. 

Two, maintain your cool and respond in a Christ-like manner. Don’t assume this means you always have to be “meek and mild.” To be Christ-like includes appropriately expressing righteous anger. Remember Jesus flipping the tables of the moneychangers in the temple (Matthew 21). Generally, this won’t be your response, even though on the inside you may feel like flipping a few tables. When you’re in the midst of conflict, of the nature being described in today’s blog, it’s important that your words and actions are guided by God’s Word and your understanding of what God wants you to do in the situation (God’s will as has been revealed to you as a leader). 

One of the things that helps me in conflict is I try to respond and not react. When I start reacting, I say things I wished wouldn’t have said, or in a way that wasn’t best. I recall hearing Pastor Charles Crabtree say that when things would get intense in a meeting he was leading or attending, he would purposely soften his voice as he spoke. That’s good counsel for all of us. 

I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on how to respond WHEN EVIL BECOMES PERSONAL, so I can learn from your experiences. Please add your response to this blog post on either the Facebook page or at thetransformingtruth.blogspot.com.

TRUTH WINS OVER EVIL

Yesterday when I was teaching on worry at King Mountain Church (FUHGEDDABOUDIT~June 19) I made a mildly provocative statement: “As you’ve probably learned in life, not everyone will like you and some will even hate you.” That’s a tough one for many of us because we’d like to think that if we live and love like Jesus, then people will like us. Umm, not so quick! Things didn’t end too well for Jesus, as you remember, and he was perfect! For many reasons, which we won’t go into in today’s blog because it’s not the point, we frequently encounter challenges in our different relationships in life—personal, work, business, church, etc. I made another statement in yesterday’s teaching: “It’s hard to remain patient and silent when people are acting evil towards you, but it’s the only way to go because we can’t handle revenge and retaliation. I say it like this…’You can’t be BITTER and SWEET at the same time.’”

When we have conflict, of the kind described above, there are different types of evil which are often on display: lying; slander; gossip; backbiting; false accusations; etc. If you’re the target of these evil actions it’s a huge personal challenge. The immediate reaction is to want to protect and defend your character [reputation]. The next reaction is to want to respond to the things which are being said and done. This response can range from a more passive response to an extremely aggressive one. Most of us have the capability for a range of responses and it’s only through self-control and the strength of the Holy Spirit that we choose the path of grace.  

Since none of us handles revenge and retaliation very well, there’s always a period of time between the assault on your character and the resolution of the situation. During the between time you have to hold on to the hope: TRUTH WINS. The difficulty in this very difficult situation is that it often takes time for the truth to win. So, the question is: What does a person do while they wait for truth to win?

1) Stay focused on the fact the battle is the Lord’s, not yours. (1 Samuel 17:47; 2 Chronicles 20:15) This is the core message of Psalm 37, which was the focus of my previous blog. Determine you will trust the Lord to fight your battles and to reveal the truth.

John 3:21 NIV “But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

Psalm 24:5 (NIV) provides this promise to the person who lives by the truth: “He will receive blessing from the LORD and vindication from God his Savior.” VINDICATION is a great word, which means: “a fact, evidence, circumstance, etc, that serves to vindicate a theory or claim.” (World English Dictionary; dictionary.com) Check out this promise from God through the prophet Isaiah: “’…no weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,’ declares the LORD.” (Isaiah 54:17 NIV)

2) No matter how long it takes for truth to win, don’t panic and let impatience cause you to seek revenge or retaliation. 

Romans 12:17-21 NIV “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: ‘It is mine to avenge; I will repay,’ says the Lord. 20 On the contrary: ‘If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.’ 21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Leviticus 19:18 NIV “Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.”

3) Keep on praying, “Deliver me from evil.” When Jesus taught the disciples to pray (Matthew 6:9-13), he instructed them to include in their daily prayers: “deliver us from evil.” (V13) We need to petition the Lord for his protection and deliverance because, unfortunately, we’ll encounter people as we go through our day who are intent on being evil and acting evil towards us. Maybe you’ve heard about the guy who said, “I’m not paranoid, people really are after me.” It’s a funny line, and unfortunately there’s a lot of conflict in our world which frequently carries over into the different relationships in our life. God protects us from the evil, not by preventing it from happening, but by guarding our spirit from becoming overcome [controlled] by it. 

These aren’t three easy steps, because there’s nothing easy about it. I also didn’t intend for these three things to be the complete answer to how any of us responds when we’re on the receiving end of evil. Hopefully, what I’ve shared today will help you to react and respond in a way which honors God and keeps you in a place where TRUTH WINS.

 

In my next post, I’ll deal with the issue: WHEN EVIL GETS PERSONAL