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Monday, February 27, 2012

DOES ANYBODY KNOW WHAT "NORMAL" IS?


Before I begin today’s blog post, I feel like I need to offer a disclaimer, in the event I say something which may be used against me in the court of law, or any other place. I am emerging from a period of three months of extreme change, crazy work hours and intense stress. This last week I started sensing a shift was occurring in my life and the difference was dramatic. I started wondering whether my life was in the process of finding a new “normal.” As I woke up this morning, set to begin my second week post-shift, I started thinking about “normal.” As I reflected on my life (I have a birthday later this week, which may partially explain the reason for my reflecting), I came to an observation: I’ve been searching my whole life for “normal.” Throughout my life I have experienced periods of time, similar to my previous three months. During these times I tell myself that things will soon return to “normal.” I highly doubt that I’m the only one who has tried to encourage themselves in this way. Of course, we’re all still waiting for “normal.”

The dictionary.com definition of the word, NORMAL, is: "conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural." The origin of the word is from the Latin, normalis, which refers to something made “according to a carpenter’s square, equivalent to norm.” I don’t know about you, but my life is anything but “square.” There are so many twists and turns, starts and stops, and unexpected diversions, life never seems to fit into nice, clean squares. One of the first learning toys many children receive is one where they are given different shapes (i.e. square, rectangle, octagon, etc.) and then they have to place the shape in the proper space on a board. It’s a learning process to figure out the right shape for the right space. When a child first receives this toy, they will attempt to place a square shape into the octagonal space. They may make several attempts and even get frustrated because it doesn’t work out. I think most children eventually figure out what shape goes into what space, and then their parents give them an iPod. 

I don’t know about you but my life rarely seems to fit into nice “square” spaces. Things in life don’t always make sense, from a rational, logical and even spiritual perspective. My wife, Anita, was the first to share with me the tapestry illustration. Our lives are like a tapestry, which is a type of needlepoint. What we often see, from our perspective, are all the loose thread ends, knots, and a variety of colored threads arranged in a way which only faintly resembles anything. What God sees, from his perspective, is an array of vibrant multi-color threads intricately woven together to form a beautiful picture, a tapestry. 

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so that we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”  Ephesians 2:10 NLT

Over the new few posts I want to explore the meaning of “normal” in our lives. It may be one of those things in life we look for and never find, or it may be that our definition is flawed.

Monday, February 20, 2012

I'M HAPPY FOR THEM...REALLY!


So, here’s the jam I’m in today. My middle daughter, Briana, and her husband, Josh, are spending their last full day of their honeymoon in Maui today. One of the things I have in common with my son-in-law is a love for golf and Josh and Bri are playing the Bay Course at Kapalua. I’ve played the course hundreds of times on my computer, and spent four days at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in our room overlooking the fourth hole, but I’ve never had the opportunity to actually play the Bay. The jam I’m in today is I really want to be happy for Josh and Bri as they play one of my “dream” courses. When we found out about the plan to play Kapalua, I was joked with Anita (my wife of 30 years, for those of you who don’t know), and acted like I was upset. 

The whole scene caused me to reflect on a truth found in Romans, which I thought would be good to explore in today’s blog post: 12:15: When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow.” (NLT) It’s not all that difficult to be happy for someone when they’re able to experience or enjoy something, unless it’s something you’ve wanted for yourself. When your friend announces they’re going to get married, it’s easy to be happy for them, unless you’re struggling with your singleness. When a friend gets a new job it’s easy to celebrate with them, unless you’re miserable in your employment situation. When your friends announce they just purchased a brand new car, you can smile at the news, unless your old beater is on its last mile. 

The key to being happy, when someone is happy, or sad, when someone is sad, is the word: EMPATHY. Chaplain Whitaker, who was one of my teacher’s in college, defined “empathy” as: “putting yourself in someone else’s skin.” I’ll never forget that definition. I don’t think there are any big secrets or a three-step process to becoming an empathetic person. I think what it takes is removing ourselves from the conversation, or not always trying to make things about us. Philippians 2:4 (The Message) offers these wise words: “Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.” 

One of the realities of being people who are born with a sinful or fleshly nature is SELFISHNESS. One of the hardest things most of us will ever do is shift the focus off of SELF, to “forget (our)selves”, and to celebrate the happy experiences of others or to extend loving care to someone going through a difficult time.  

Later today, Josh and Bri are going to be playing the Bay Course at Kapalua, enjoying spectacular views of the blue Pacific and the islands of Molokai and Lanai, as gray whales frolic in the surf and gentle breezes blow through the stately Norfolk pine trees, all in 83 degree tropical sun. I’m happy for them…really!

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

A FATHER'S WEDDING BLESSING


Note: This is the blessing I shared on Sunday (2.12.12) with my daughter, Briana Rose Robinson, and her new husband, Joshua Mark Isenhour. (who happen to be in Maui on their honeymoon, but I'm not bitter!)

In Jewish culture, which plays a major role in the Bible, there is found a very significant practice: The BLESSING. In 2012 blessing is not much more than something we say to someone when they sneeze, or as a way to say goodbye, “God bless you.”

In the Jewish tradition a family gathers each Friday (Erev Shabbat) for a meal and a time for the father to pronounce a blessing over his wife and children. In addition to this weekly blessing, there are six other times in a child’s life when a blessing is given (conception; in the womb; birth; infancy, puberty), and the final blessing of this type is at the time of marriage. 

The main idea of “blessing” is: “to empower to prosper.” I’ll resist the temptation to put on my pastor-teacher hat, but I do believe it’s helpful to understand several things about the BLESSING: Based upon the Bible, God’s love letter to his children, we find BLESSING is: a God-given PRINCIPLE; it’s POWERFUL; it’s PERMANENT; it’s PROTECTED by God; and it’s based on God’s PROMISES.

It is my honor today to pronounce a blessing over Josh and Briana, on this their wedding day:

SPIRITUAL
May you be blessed in your love for God and continually grow in your grasp of the greatness of how wide, long, high and deep his love is for you! (Ephesians 3:18)

EMOTIONAL WELL-BEING
May the peace (shalom) of God always guard your heart and mind from discouragement and disappointment which leads to a bitterness of soul.  (Philippians 4:7)

PHYSICAL HEALTH
May you always enjoy excellent physical health, as the Apostle John wrote, even as your soul is spiritually healthy. (3 John 1:2)

CHILDREN
In God’s timing, may you be blessed with children, and together form a family which reflects the fullness of God’s amazing love, while you experience the best of all that’s been created for us by a faithful God. (Psalm 127:1; Joshua 24:15)

FINANCIAL
May you experience the full favor of God in your personal finances, enabling you to be free of financial burdens; releasing you to live generously towards others. (Luke 6:38)

CAREER
May you always be blessed in your careers, knowing it is the Lord who promotes us and gives us the ability to produce wealth. (Psalm 75:6-7; James 4:10; Deuteronomy 8:18)

MARRIAGE
May you be blessed in your love for one another, discovering the uniqueness of your spouse, and accepting them as God’s perfect provision and the one who completes you. (Genesis 2:22; Proverbs 31) May the mystery of oneness unfold before you with a profound beauty and strength. (Ephesians 5:22-33) May the love you share and has been sealed by your vows, be unbreakable and unshakeable when the enemy of love tries to destroy the covenant of marriage which has been established today. (Isaiah 59:19; Matthew 19:6)

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you; the LORD turn his face toward you and give you peace.” (Numbers 6:24-26)

Monday, February 6, 2012

A SUPER VICTORY


So, yesterday was the Super Bowl; pretty much the biggest sporting event each year in the United States. The game itself was ho-hum, in my opinion, with all the drama coming in the closing minutes. I did enjoy the junk food fest with a few friends. Earlier on Sunday afternoon there was another sporting event which had my full attention. I am one of “those people” who enjoys watching golf on TV. I know I’ve heard all the lame jokes regarding watching golf as comparable to watching paint dry or as painful as a visit to the dentist. Yesterday’s Phoenix Open, being played in brilliant desert sunshine and warmth, contained much more drama than the Super Bowl. In the closing holes of his final round, Kyle Stanley, tied the leader and eventually won his very first PGA event. Winning your first anything is always huge, but what made Stanley’s victory so sweet was the brutal defeat he suffered the week before. Playing in San Diego, on a course I’ve personally had the privilege of playing, he was on the final hole of the 72-hole tournament. Stanley had a three-shot lead and was only a short distance away from the hole. There was a pond between Stanley and the green, a pond which I experienced when I played Torrey Pines, but it wasn’t a difficult shot for someone of his skill level. I don’t know what the actual odds would be, but I’m guessing he could avoid the water 99 times out of 100, under normal circumstances. Stanley lofted his shot high into the air, when it landed on the green just beyond the hole the backspin caused the ball to roll backwards passing the hole and eventually rolling 40-feet into the water. The shock to Stanley was so significant he eventually lost the tournament. In the post-round interview Stanley was deeply shaken to the point of tears. Yes, golf will reduce grown men to tears. 

What a difference a week makes! I think what I loved so much about Stanley’s victory yesterday was how he was able to comeback from such a devastating, disappointing and even embarrassing defeat. I believe there’s a huge lesson for all of us in Stanley’s accomplishment. In case you haven’t noticed, life has a way of dealing all of us our share of difficult circumstances and setbacks. Some people seem to get more than their fair share. The decisions we make when life is hard is what, in my experience, most determines the trajectory of our future. Anyone can play a good hand of cards, but winners are those who can play a bad hand well. After his meltdown in San Diego, Stanley could have disappeared for a few weeks. He could have allowed the bitterness of the loss to infect and injure his state of mind, and cause long-term damage to his psyche. This week Stanley once again shed tears, but this time they were tears of joy, as he experienced the thrill of victory.  

There is no defeat so great, no setback so severe, the Holy Spirit can’t rescue and restore you to a place of victory. I love the strong encouragement which comes to all of us from Romans 8:11 NIV The Spirit of God, who raised Jesus from the dead, lives in you. And just as he raised Christ from the dead, he will give life to your mortal body by this same Spirit living within you.”  rist, the Holy Spirit is living within you. This is the same Spirit that called out to a dead Jesus lying in a garden tomb on a Sunday morning nearly 2000 years ago. I don’t know the exact words which the Spirit spoke to Jesus, or that it’s even important, but I do know the Spirit is speaking to you and I today. He’s speaking words of encouragement, peace, strength, hope and life. The Spirit of God is seeking to raise you up to a new place of victory and overcoming. Your tears of despair are about to become tears of joy.