So, here’s the jam I’m in today. My middle daughter, Briana, and her husband, Josh, are spending their last full day of their honeymoon in Maui today. One of the things I have in common with my son-in-law is a love for golf and Josh and Bri are playing the Bay Course at Kapalua. I’ve played the course hundreds of times on my computer, and spent four days at the Ritz-Carlton Hotel in our room overlooking the fourth hole, but I’ve never had the opportunity to actually play the Bay. The jam I’m in today is I really want to be happy for Josh and Bri as they play one of my “dream” courses. When we found out about the plan to play Kapalua, I was joked with Anita (my wife of 30 years, for those of you who don’t know), and acted like I was upset.
The whole scene caused me to reflect on a truth found in Romans, which I thought would be good to explore in today’s blog post: 12:15: “When others are happy, be happy with them. If they are sad, share their sorrow.” (NLT) It’s not all that difficult to be happy for someone when they’re able to experience or enjoy something, unless it’s something you’ve wanted for yourself. When your friend announces they’re going to get married, it’s easy to be happy for them, unless you’re struggling with your singleness. When a friend gets a new job it’s easy to celebrate with them, unless you’re miserable in your employment situation. When your friends announce they just purchased a brand new car, you can smile at the news, unless your old beater is on its last mile.
The key to being happy, when someone is happy, or sad, when someone is sad, is the word: EMPATHY. Chaplain Whitaker, who was one of my teacher’s in college, defined “empathy” as: “putting yourself in someone else’s skin.” I’ll never forget that definition. I don’t think there are any big secrets or a three-step process to becoming an empathetic person. I think what it takes is removing ourselves from the conversation, or not always trying to make things about us. Philippians 2:4 (The Message) offers these wise words: “Don’t be obsessed with getting your own advantage. Forget yourselves long enough to lend a helping hand.”
One of the realities of being people who are born with a sinful or fleshly nature is SELFISHNESS. One of the hardest things most of us will ever do is shift the focus off of SELF, to “forget (our)selves”, and to celebrate the happy experiences of others or to extend loving care to someone going through a difficult time.
Later today, Josh and Bri are going to be playing the Bay Course at Kapalua, enjoying spectacular views of the blue Pacific and the islands of Molokai and Lanai, as gray whales frolic in the surf and gentle breezes blow through the stately Norfolk pine trees, all in 83 degree tropical sun. I’m happy for them…really!
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