SANDPAPER PEOPLE

Several years ago my wife, Anita, introduced me to a short phrase: “Sandpaper people.” Basically, “sandpaper people” are people who rub you the wrong way. Whether it’s a clash of personality types, a conflict of philosophies (POV) or just a momentary irritation, “sandpaper people” have a way of making life unpleasant and sometimes nearly unbearable. 

Last night we were with our small group and the topic of sandpaper people came up in our discussion. There was so much interaction I finally asked the group of approx. 20: “For how many of you does someone immediately come to mind as a sandpaper person in your life right now?” I was mildly shocked when everyone responded there was someone. Everyone! The fact that everyone identified someone seemed like more than a coincidence. My quick conclusion from this response was that sandpaper people may actually be part of God’s plan to develop our character and deeper our compassion. Where we may see these difficult people as a curse, they may actually be a gift and a blessing. I know that’s a tough perspective to choose, at least it’s tough for me, but it’s for our good we all are forced to deal with difficult people as a part of our daily life.

I recall Paul’s mention of a sandpaper man named Alexander in 2 Timothy 4:14, who he said caused “a great deal of harm.” (NIV) He also mentions facing intense opposition in places like 1 Thessalonians 2:2, Philippians 1:28 and Titus 2:8, at least some of this likely involved people and personalities. I think it is significant to remember that even though Paul faced opposition, he was never overcome by his opposition, and the purposes of God were always accomplished.

Sandpaper people force us to pray more, trust God more, seek God’s wisdom more, and to use greater caution with our words and actions, so we don’t provide ammunition to be used against us. They may force out of our independence and self-sufficiency, as we are motivated to rely on the support, encouragement and counsel of trusted friends.

While this blog has been considering the sandpaper people in our lives, none of us want to be a sandpaper person in someone's life. I think the primary way to avoid this undesirable designation is by choosing to be a person of grace. As we choose grace, in our actions and attitudes, in our words and in the way we view the shortcomings of others, we will avoid being the person others want to avoid.